People Pleasers Please Stand Up
I need to tell you a story, it’s a story about Monday night but really it’s a story about my entire life, all 29 years of it. I’d like to forewarn you that I’m on my third cup of strong Irish tea this morning, which means my mind is full of colorful words and thoughts and sounds – this could get intense. Pro tip: this is the best breakfast tea ever made, I honestly can’t believe I just shared this secret with you.
Monday night I was going about my business, loading the dishwasher, folding clothes and going in between watching American Horror Story and Gilmore Girls. There was a knock, a very light knock at my door – in typical fashion I was mortified. Do I hide? Do I pretend to not be home? Who would EVER knock on my door? Woe is me.
I looked through the peephole and it was an older man who seemed to be shuffling around and not close to my door, so I opened it. He proceeded to apologize for bothering me and for complaining but he just had to let me know that my heavy footed walking was really affecting the quality of his daily life. WHAT?!
I proceeded to apologize and I’m 100% sure I looked totally shocked has he also kept apologizing for being a bother about it. I shut the door and collapsed on the bed, it was the last straw. I felt horrible that I had bothered someone by just walking around my apartment, going about my business. I like to go through life without being noticed, without getting called out, no attention please. These are the thoughts that ran through my head; Are going to have to move? Will we have to buy a house? Are we ready to buy a house? I like this apartment? Can I not walk around at all, EVER in my own home? Do we need a rug? Do we need 5 rugs? What about house shoes? Why do I walk to like a huge buffalo?
I let this older man total shatter my well being because I was upset that I had upset him. I let his awkwardly polite request crush my spirit – and I realized that’s just not okay. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I can’t keep taking such hard blows for such little things.
It was a huge reminder to me that I’m just the b i g g e s t people pleaser and that this people pleasing was just killing my vibe.
So, my friends it’s time for me to be more serious about kicking this habit to the curb and not collapsing into an emotional mess anytime something isn’t perfectly pleased with ME.
I did a bit of soul searching, podcast listening, video watching and book reading and I boiled done the points that made the most sense to me. I thought you might like the tips to, if indeed you too are a people pleaser.