Growth

I am not fully healed,
I am not fully wise,
I am still on my way.
What matters is that
I am moving forward.

yung pueblo

I’ve been thinking a lot about growth lately. Spring is the season of growth after all, isn’t it? Outside bulbs and trees are blooming and allergies are raging. Change and growth are in the air but recently I’m feeling it more intentionally.

Do you ever have a random experience that on the surface seems innocent but turns out to be a metaphor for a moment in your life? Or maybe I secretly wish my life was a young adult novel.

Anyway, a couple weekends ago, my adorable (and often destructive) cats knocked down one of my kitchen window plants. Remember this little plant? If it seems at all familiar to you, you may be remembering one of our very first posts. My sweet little plant has been looking a little rough lately so I took this incident as an opportunity to give it a little extra TLC.

The process of repotting suddenly felt intensely symbolic. Pulling away the dead and dried leaves (petals?) of my succulent, I noticed the beauty in their color. I noticed how delicately they fell from their root. I thought about how in my own life, I have to “shed” in order to grow into a healthy, better version of myself.

Lately, I’ve been longing for the physical items I’ve purged along the way–journals, letters, artwork. I thought holding on to those things, especially those associated with bad memories,  would cause further pain every time I came across them. It made sense at that time but now I’m realizing the beauty in those things. Just like the dried leaves of my succulent, at one time I needed those things, they helped me grow into the person I am today.

At some point, we all just have to let go. If you’re like me, that incredibly hard to do and that’s okay.  It’s okay to want to feel. It’s okay to want to remember, even if doing so hurts a little. It’s okay to not want to be surrounded by items that make us feel less than great. It’s okay to not keep every sketchbook, every passed note and every diary. Personal growth will happen with or without those things in your life. I’m just happen to be sucker for nostalgia. Stepping into the mind of my younger self is actually quite enjoyable for me.

letting go doesn’t me forgetting,
it just means we stop carrying the
energy of the past into the present

yung pueblo

Like with all silly little events in my life, I was inspired to create an illustration. Sometimes when I get an idea, I like to sketch it over and over, filling an entire page. I want to become familiar with the idea inside my head. This illustration is simple but I want the message to become and remain familiar to me. I want to recognize the scars and beauty of the past but always remember to keep growing.

love,
NG

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