Happy Friday and welcome to September! Have any of you ventured out to get a Pumpkin Spice Latte yet? I’m holding off till the weather chills out a little bit but boy I’m ready for all things pumpkin, slower days, longer nights and that crisp feeling in the air.
I’m so happy and lucky to have a (3) day weekend for Labor Day. I’m planning on traveling down to Southern New Mexico to visit my Mom while my Dad is on a trip! I normally have some hard feelings about being home and back in the house I grew up in – do any of you feel that way?
High school wasn’t a “bad” experience for me but there’s just ALOT there. To be blunt, I get triggered emotionally being home and since I’m already feeling a little scattered and unsteady I’m a little nervous about it.
Seth (my husband) is working this weekend so I’m driving down solo with our pup Flynn. I’m trying to see it as a great time to listen to some podcasts, drink an iced coffee and have some needed introvert time (it’s a 5 hour drive).
When I’m home I normally feel a little like a recluse, I stick out my parents house and try not to go out much but I know that my Mom wants to go to dinner and what not so I’m trying to find some grace with going out in public. I think I get really scared that people will remember the person I was and that in talking with them or seeing them it will stir up old feelings for me – because well I’m a much different person now. I’m healthier and older and much more tired! Ha!
But in all seriousness I’ve learned it’s best to have a plan when you know you are going into a situation that could trigger you. My main plan is to revert back to having all the grace and compassion with myself and with anyone else I encounter. It’s best to just deal with situations in the moment, not sit back and always plan for the worst. I want to try and spend alot of time outside, my Mom has an amazing garden. I want to try and take things slow, maybe make a really good dinner for her while I’m there. I want to try and find some beauty in a place that holds alot of ugliness for me… I know it’s there, Southwestern New Mexico holds it’s own beautiful gems. I might walk C-Hill or take a run around my old neighborhood, there’s a house that’s really close to my parents that has a buffalo and it’s best friends with this horse – you can see them following each other along and it’s seriously too cute.
So, I guess I’m just here to share that I’m nervous, and to tell you I have a plan because maybe then I’ll actually follow it? There’s something I’ve been dwelling on the past week;
we know the things that have happened in our lives were supposed to happen – because THEY DID. There’s some peace in that thought for me and I hope to find some more peace while I’m “home” for a few days.
I hope that your weekend (long weekend) is full of peace and light and hope for the new season ahead. Be intentional with it, our thoughts and our time are some of the only things we have control over.
All the love,